5 Oct 2015
If all goes as planned, my husband and I will be homeowners in 10 days. It’s been overwhelming, stressful, and emotional. But as Zack likes to say, “These are exciting time.”
As a child of divorced parents, a house has symbolized to me something to eventually be fought of over. It was the one last tie holding the end of a relationship together. From the first time we talked about buying a house way back when we were engaged, it terrified me. More than marriage itself, because that was all I knew. A house was something that two people ended up having to split.
But Zack keeps reminding me, we are not our parents, and our relationship is not theirs. And I know that. I’m trying to keep myself from being hesitant and allow myself just to enjoy this time. Yesterday I started browsing Pinterest to decide on what paint colors would be nice for our living room and bedroom. It was the first time I had imagined us really living there.
And it is exciting. It’s the next step in our life together. I would hate to miss all the excitement because I’m too busy dwelling on the past and worrying about the future. So my goal this month is to enjoy the process of buying our home, moving in, and making it our own. I will not spend that time in fear.